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Here’s the truth hiding behind all that plastic cladding and aggressive grille work on certain 2025 SUVs: Looks don’t prove a thing. That’s not shade…it’s just numbers. If you’re buying based on looks alone, get ready to be humbled at the next stoplight by something with sliding doors.

Let’s start with the minivan most likely to cause embarrassment on suburban pavement.

The 2025 Kia Carnival

It’s packing a 3.5-liter V6 with 287 horsepower and 260 lb-ft of torque. That’s enough to move its family-hauling frame from 0 to 60 in about 7.0 to 7.5 seconds, depending on the test. That’s not just respectable. The Carnival is decidedly quicker than several so-called tough SUVs that look like they came off a zombie movie set.

Take the Mitsubishi Outlander Sport Trail Edition

It got a rugged makeover for 2025 with off-road trims, blacked-out bits, and all-terrain cues. But the powertrain didn’t get the memo. It still uses the same 2.5-liter four-cylinder that makes 181 hp. Reviews say it feels slow and uninspiring to drive. In terms of acceleration, it’s no match for the Carnival. It looks trail-ready but probably performs like it’s stuck in traffic even when it’s not.

Then there’s the 2025 Chevrolet Traverse High Country

It’s a big, bold SUV with squared-off styling that could pass for a full-size truck from the front. Under the hood, though, this Traverse runs a turbocharged four-cylinder engine focused more on efficiency than urgency. The new platform adds interior refinement, but performance reviews point to soft throttle response and noticeable lag. Real-world acceleration puts it behind the minivan it’s supposedly tougher than.

Even the base trims of the Hyundai Palisade and Kia EV9 SUVs can’t match the Carnival’s sprint times

The Palisade’s standard V6 makes around 291 hp, but its 0 to 60 time sits around 7.6 to 8.0 seconds thanks to its weight and drivetrain tuning.

While higher trims deliver EV quickness, the standard EV9 models do 0 to 60 in about nine seconds. All bark, not much launch.

This isn’t to knock SUVs altogether, of course

Some high-performance models like the Audi SQ5 or the Rivian R1S can absolutely back up their aggressive looks. But the point is that rugged styling doesn’t equal real speed. Many of these so-called “apocalypse-ready” crossovers are slower than a stylish, comfortable minivan like the Carnival, which quietly goes about its business with three rows, better acceleration, and more cargo room.